Together again?
we're going to be one of those couples that is going to make up and break up forever.
last night he came over to get his camera and we didn't talk and he drove off.
i know that he wouldn't drive all that way for a camera.
he wanted to make up...i know it.
of course, i did too or i wouldn;t have cleaned up the princess rather nicely and made my hair look awesome and put on a figure hugging outfit.
but noooooooo...he had to behave like a cunt and don't talk , then drive off.
i threw the diamond ring he gave me in the garbage.
then at 1:30am this morning i had to go dumpster diving for it!!
we made up.
but he's still blaming me for everything.
he keeps saying that i need to stop being insecure and be open with him. learn to be comfortable baked with him. stop hiding my body from him. switching off the light when we have sex.
I can't help it!!!!
i don't like my naked body...how can he like it?!!!
but he does.
and i should be touched.
but somehow i'm not really.
i made up with him....but one of the major reasons in my head at least, is that i really don't want to have sex with someone else.
honestly, my love for him has taken such a blow, that i don't know if it will ever recover.
he's never patient with me. and i need someone who will be patient and who can wait for me to get over my insecurities...or to help me get over them. it's not enough that you say...i'm gorgeous, or you love me or i'm so pretty............none of that helps.
i just need to get over my lack of self-esteem.
i really need to get to the root of the problem.
but yes...i digress......i was saying that he's never patient with me.
he ALWAYS get angry.
and honestly honestly.......i don't think we will make it. and i'm not so sure i really care much about making it with him anyway.
i just want to enjoy the here and now.
maybe that might make me hedonistic...but hey...i can live with that....
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