THE LIST
Saturday afternoon a guy I hadn�t heard from in almost 6months called me at home. I was surprised, especially since he didn�t have my home number. Apparently, he had tried to call me from an old number of mine. i had lost that phone like ages ago. So I was baffled as to how he got my phone number. My home phone number at that too. He shocked me and had me stuttering for more than a couple of seconds by his answer. The boy had remembered where my family�s business was and he stopped off there and asked my cousin (the pervy one) if I lived there. My cousin said no and then proceeded to give him my home number. He didn�t have the good sense to give him my cell number. Thinking bout it now, what if the guy had turned out to be a psycho/rapist/killer; just what would I have done?!! As it stands, he�s a really really nice guy. His name is Ziyad and I remember I met him a year and a half ago in Subway on campus one late afternoon. I went upto him because I thought that he was cute. He gave me his card and we sort of became friends. But we never became anything more and in fact we fell out of touch. Mainly because I became involved with Rick. And we all know what THAT entailed.
� (go back a couple of months if you want to refresh your memory!!!)
Anyway, Z called to ask me to a rock concert in Prive; this club closeby. Surprisingly my mom didn�t really make a fuss. He arrived at 8:30pm said h to my parents, then we hit the road. He concert was great. His company was great and we�ve been messaging each other everyday since. In fact, I�ve seen him twice since then, but in an unofficial capacity. Meaning NOT on a date. He picked me up last Thursday 9th and Friday 10th July. On Thursday I asked him to pick me up to get some food and Friday he offered to pick me up from the mall.
Friday I bought Burger King and he wanted a Transformers toy, so I bought a BK Kids� Meal for him. We sat and ate in the car. I know it probably was lame, but I happened to like it.
I dunno what�s gonna happen but I guess we�ll see. One thing though. I know that I�m not supposed to be unequally binded to someone. My soulmate needs to be a believer.
I don�t know if Z is my soulmate. Frankly, I don�t even know if I have feelings for him. I don�t know if he has feelings for ME for that matter. He has low self-esteem, which I don�t like and he�s absolutely unromantic and he�s awkward. But he�s a nice, sweet guy, cute, and willing to help anyway he can. Maybe I should give him a chance. But a little voice in the back of my head is telling me to think twice and maybe I should just let this go. That I�m speeding straight ahead because I�m lonely. Maybe that�s true. But how do I know why I�m pursuing this? How? Hmmmm? Good question.
AND I ALMOST FORGOT:
Marc keeps texting me, trying to set up a meeting, but I�m done without fucking him. done with fucking anybody till I am married. Sex within marriage and that�s it!! don�t think I don�t get horny!! I do!! But I can�t get into that kinda life again. that life is death for me and I don�t want to die, I want life everlasting.
But boy have I had temptation:
Marc,
Liam (hot dancer guy with a psycho gf)
Rion ( hot drummer of Rango Tango / chef/ nymphomaniac)
Pranav (an old friend from a couple of years ago. We fooled around a little, never had sex. We were both young. About 19 a-piece),
Fazeer (this dude that keeps volunteering himself as a sex buddy to me!),
Fish (you remember, this cute druggie dude. Go back you�ll find him in one of the entries; Saturday 27th December, 2008 & January 2nd, 2009)