ZIP IT YOU IDIOT!
MUSIC:~Leave me alone~ Natalie Imbruglia &
Portishead
I feel really stupid right now. i told myself i wouldn't give in to my feelings, that i wouldn't cave......but arrrrrrggggggggh these fucking feelings!!
i really hate having feelings. so i told him last night that i was falling in love with him amidst much stammering-------sigh, i guess i'm not as smart as i thought i was.
he was quiet for a while, and then stammering again i professed that i was stupid and i shouldn't have said that.
he told me no, he was glad i told him how i was feeling and that he felt the same.
NOTE BIEN!!!: he said it really quietly and didn't mention it again for the rest of the conversation, and just said goodnight when we were ready to go. sigh
this morning while chatting online we were joking around and he said he was using me for my body and i joked back that i was crying on the inside that he didn't love me. and he said -"i'll love you forever"-
how i wish i knew if he was being serious.