Monday, Sept. 03, 2012 - 11:30 p.m.
FALLING

The fear is returning.........at first i was genuinely excited abt R. but everytime the fear emerges it fucks everything up!

i have a feeling that maybe it's me that is manifesting the fear, sabotaging whatever potential good that may come in my life.

to be perfectly honest.......i'm nowhere near perfect. i know i know....no-one's perfect but why do i feel like a freak most of the times.

this fear chokes me, it cuts off all reasonable thought processes and just leaves me in utter darkness.

he's promising to be the light.....and maybe he is........all i need to do is let go of the fear...but it's like an old comfortable pair of shoes that i always slip into.....either after the really sexy shoes have pinched my toes and given me corns and calluses OR i just immediately disregard the pretty shoe and slap on old trusty.


R's so great and i'm afraid.........I'll TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY to stop this stupid behaviour.

CAN I TELL YOU WHAT I SECRETLY FEEL ABT WHAT'S GOING ONE BETWEEN HE AND I?

of course i can!! you're supposed to listen to me!!

i know i might regret typing this....might feel stupid if it never happens or it blows up spectacularly in my face BUT.................

I NEED MORE WITH HIM

I WANT MORE......MUCH MORE.....

goddamnit!!.....i might be falling....

:(((
prev ./. next