The day after goodbye
Music:~Eva~Nightwish
I feel like i don't want to write in here anymore......i feel like i was just chronicling my failure.
My failure to connect in a longterm relationship to another human being.
My failure to be normal.
My failure to see religion as pertinent to my life.
My failure in not accomplishing a lot of things i set out to do a very long time ago.
But i'm setting it right, right now!
No waiting for things to become better. i'll make them better.
I dumped Daniel last night. i screamed and cursed my head off at him, called his ex in front of him and his mother.
I made sure it was done and to go back will only be a source of shame now.
But........i do want to sleep with him one last time. Sex was fantastic and i want to really have goodbye sex.
I know i know it's stupid.
Last night i was angry and didn't want to go back, today i'm apologetic for how i behaved last night but adamant that it's over.
I just want sex.
Is that too much to ask for.
We bough lingerie last night....now i't gone to no use...
After the next entry....i think i'll stop writing in this diary.
I just don't feel the zeal to write anymore.
When my life is on track again....and i feel the need to share...i'll come back....but not before
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