Monday, Dec. 06, 2010 - 10:44 a.m.
Suicise attempt, a January wedding and distractions.....


Music:~Smile~Lily Allen

My cousin drank bleach night before last.
I learnt this yesterday when i went over to her apartment.

She sat there smiling as her roommate proceeded to explain, how after they had a drinking binge she went to her room and she heard a terrible retching from my cousin's room.
When she rushed over, she saw my cuz puking all over the floor.
Apparently, she popped like 10 cold med pills and drank a mouthful of bleach to wash it all down.

"But don't worry she puked it all up!", her roomie assured me.
And all the while cousin sat there smiling slightly.
Her reasons.......she had a terrible cheimstry presentation, went to drnk some beers afterward, her bf called and blew her out for going drinking and not telling him and he the proceeded to break up with her.....hence the suicide attempt.

Personally, i think that she is way to rash to plan a really effective suicide. She acts on impulse. When she's hurt and frustrated she does stupid things, which sounds like roughly 90% of the world's population. That other 10% probably consists of individuals who are either clear-thinking, super-religious or mentally retarded.

Either way, most ppl have thought about killing themselves at one time or the other.....and if u answer no to this....well you're lying aren't you?

I'm sure at some point you've wanted to die. And for very human reasons too:

- Loneliness
- Shame
- Emptiness
- Being unloved
- chronic illness
- thinking that you're a burden

and etc etc.....the list can go on and on.
I'm glad she's not dead but it makes me think that what if there was a bottle of weed-killer there instead of bleach, she would've drank that and been dead all now.

*smh*

i really don't want to think about it

In other news, Daniel's ex is getting married in January. As i understand it, she says she's in love and wants to get married. Well, i can't blame the girl. I wish her all the happiness in the world.

Me? i'm not so sure....

Happiness is basically a ball of confusion for me.
You would think that i'm not a teenager anymore, that i would know what i want by now. But nope!

I ABSOLUTELY have no fucking clue!

All i know...is what i DON'T want.

I just don't know.
that seems to be my line for the past few months.

I'm just going to focus on my exam for the while.....tune everything else out.
A righteous distraction for the pain.


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