Daniel, The Inbetweeners and Angus
Music:~Shutup and let me go~The Ting Tings
So Daniel and I had a bit of a chat last night where i freaked out, started to cry then hung up. I told him about the dream and how i'm fed up of hearing about his ex and her family and he makes me feel inadequate and that my love isn't enough for him. and i asked him to explain WHY he loved me.
he tried but it just wasn't coming out right and i got frustrated and hung up.
after a couple of hours when i cooled off called him back to apologize for freaking out.
i asked him; "Why do you put up with me? how do you stand me sometimes? even when i am such a bitch to you?!"
because i love you, was his answer.
i guess sometimes in reaching for the moon we forget about all the glorious stars surrounding us.
i'm such a perfectionist, always wanting more than i can't stop to enjoy what i have.
i need to try harder to stop wanting him to change all the time. he tries, he really does. and i don't. i say i do but i don't. i know i'm not perfect, but i'm really not making an effort to change my ridiculous ways.
Being paranoid, sniveling over a bunch of self-pitying shit and pushing him to get along with my parents.
he wants to but it's not been that long we're together and most ppl don't meet the parents like a while late.
maybe it's too soon to be meeting each others family. but it just feels like ages we've been together, when that's not the case at all!
i need to slow this train down. it's speeding and it will crash, if we're not careful. i said from the beginning that i didn't want external factors influencing our relationship and that's exactly what i'm allowing to happen.
not him....me
i've been wondering if we should stop having sex. i mean, just to bond on another level. we are pretty close and i can tell him anything, and we enjoy a healthy, wow! sex life, but i want to know that we can get along without sex. i mean we barely see each other as it is, that's why have sex every time we're together.....so hmmm....would it be a prudent idea NOT to have sex?
i don't know.
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I think i'm going to watch Snatch today. i know, i know....i'm lame. i haven't seen it yet! for some reason i didn't feel like watching it last night. i was on a comedy roll.first The Inbetweeners....which always makes me feel loads better no matter how many times i've watched it.
then Hot Tub Time Machine.....which was essentially shit...i shut it after half the movie had gone...i'll try finishing watching it today....can't make any promises though.
i keep listening to the soundtrack for Angus, Thongs and Full-frontal snogging for some reason.
hmmm...o.O
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