Saturday, Nov. 20, 2010 - 5:18 p.m.
Why do you love me?

Music:~Toothpaste Kisses~The Maccabees

I had a really bad dream last night.

i dreamed that Daniel died and we ;all his family, were mourning for him. we were on the beach for some reason and the tide was coming in. All of a sudden i see Saleen, the ex walking along the beach towards us. i was sitting a little way off from the group, close to the shoreline crying, feeling my heart breaking into a million little pieces.

his family started to mutter, ' There's Saleen, she's coming to talk to us, to be with us right now '

in the dream, i rem i felt like crap when i heard that, i felt left out and not a part of anything. that my love for him wasn't real and didn't matter. that hers did. that the time she spent with him was more important. After all, she spent all almost every minute of 2 years with him.

one of the aunts in the dream told me,
"don't worry dear, she just knows the family,don't feel bad", and she patted me on the shoulder.

***********************************

what does this dream mean?
I'm scared for him. I'm scared for me. I'm mostly scared for us.
i love him, but i wonder if my love is enough. i tried asking him recently why he loves me.........and he can't answer.
he just does.

i know why I love him.
he makes me feel like no-one ever has before.
he makes me feel comfortable with myself, with my body, with expressing my love, my desires, my wants.

but what does it mean that he can't articulate a response as to WHY he loves me?
is it wrong of me to expect an answer to that question? am i being pushy and too worldly and not trusting in love that just is?

I'm sorry, but i'm not just one of those people that can take love at face value. i need to know WHY.

**************************************

I watched Letters to Juliet today and i cried my ass off. i know it was a sorta lame movie. and i may seem to be a skeptic most of the times but something about Shakespeare moves me. The language of love.
Must be all that flowery prose that makes me feel all mushy inside.

for me it's the words that make me fall in love. i want to know that you can express what you're feeling inside.

Tell me.....Why do you love me?
prev ./. next