Saturday, Oct. 16, 2010 - 1:01 a.m.
As I Walked Out One Evening.......

I know dani's at his grandfather's wake....but WTF! at least call!

i felt very hurt when i just called him and said....you didn't call me in 3 hours.
he said ..really?

and i felt this sharp pain deep inside...i still feel it.

i love him and i know he loves me....but he says shit like....we're adults, you know i love you i don't need to say it back to you everytime.

i'm going to stop saying it....the bastard!
it'll hurt me but i'm going to make him feel it.
he only feels good when i retaliate by doing the same shit he does.

he'll call in a bit.....i dunno if to
a) answer and be sulky and silent

b) answer and be a bitch

OR

c) ignore his calls


All three have the potential to annoy the fuck out of him.
maybe i'll just do c).....


**************************************

Originally i wanted to post a poem.
i love this..i remember Jesse in Before Sunrise reciting a snatch of it almost at the end of the movie......

As I Walked Out One Evening
by W. H. Auden

As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.

'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror,
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on.

************************************

I am in awe......
but i'm still not answering his calls...

**************************
FUuuuuuuuuuCKkkk!!!....i just answered my phone......



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