True Freedom of the soul
i feel like utter steamrolled shite right now ;/
i have chest rattling painful cough, a runny nose and a sore throat.
i tried drinking herbal tea doused with dissolvable vitamin C tablets to get rid of the cold...i didn't want to start to gobble cold medication but Alas!!! that is exactly what i had to do.....got back from the pharmacy a little while ago with some cold meds that the pharmacist warned me will knock me the hell out!!
i can't take it yet cause i have a lab to write up and can't afford to fall asleep!!
i saw Liam today with his ex-gf and you know....i felt nothing.
the question remains...why did we have sex in the first place?
maybe because i have one of those bodies that doesn't have an off-switch when it comes to sex.
i am one of those all or nothing kind of people.
i can't see Liam, can't hang out in private with him, can't take in an innocent movie with him....because all those activities will inevitably end up as sex!
i can't hang out with emm in private and have alcohol involved because she somehow knows how to push my buttons and we ended up in a sexy position.
so basically i am goin to seal myself back up in my fortress of solitude and focus on my work. i broke the door down a couple weeks ago to have some semblance of human interaction and fun and watch where that led me.
SIGH
being alone is the only way i can think of right now for me to stay on the right path.
i've been thinking quite seriously of getting baptised this year, probably in May somewhere around my birthday.
i've totally slacked off on going to church,and i feel like a hypocrite when i speak to Jherrel and he's talking about spiritual stuff.
but i'm not going to get back to the Word just because i'm feeling dirty and ashamed......i'm going to try my best to get back to that mode of thinking and that way of life because when i was following that way.......i was the happiest i've even been in my life.
people think that true freedom is not being told what to do and being able to make your own choices.
but i believe that true freedom has boundaries. True freedom is feeling this inexplicable peace inside you. knowing that you're not bound by the laws of man, bound by the laws of society.
True freedom of the soul is what i'm after......
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