Only one thing to do.......
a couple of hours ago my ex Rick called me to hang out...apparently he's close to campus spending the night by a friend of his Jesse. to top it off Ryan's with him!!
a year ago i would've freaked at Ryan hanging out with Rick..i thought Ryan was such a good Christian boy!!! hahahaha what a hoot!!...ok maybe i shouldn't laugh.we all fall sometimes.
but really now it's Rick i'm worried for. he's come so far on this journey into the truth and i'm afraid for him.
there's only one thing i can do for him....pray.
PS: you know the most random memories came back to me. Rick and I had a turbulent relationship to say the least!(previous enteries can testify to this!!)
But goddamn!! i loved to be seen with him. he's so gorgeous.
sigh
i guess that was the whole attraction to him. it sure wasn't his personality.
but i am flattered that he called me to hang out today. he was thinking about me.
i told him the other night quite callously, when he asked me why i never called him...."well i just never think of you, you never eally cross my mind"....i think that remark stung him a lil bit....i dunno i was being honest....but actually....now i keep thinking about him.....too much!!!
i can't let this happen again!
i don't think God would help me break off ties with Rick completely only for me to fall back in love with him.....and for another thing Jherrel would kill me if that happened.
even though he's Rick's best friend and mentor, he's also my friend and i doubt he would want me to fall in love with soembody who wasn't worth my time and who couldn't bring anything to the table.
shit shit shit.....this cannot happen AGAIN!!!