am I there yet?
if i did the right thing, why do i feel so crappy right now.
i keep telling myself STAY FOCUSED STAY FOCUSED but i CAN'T!! i 'm really trying but I can't.
i feel like...like a.........and the word that's coming to mind right now is DOUCHE.
I know i'm not one and i didn't behave like one but i feel like shit.
i have a Freshwater Biology Course Work exam at 9am in the morning and i haven't studied a thing. i probably have 95% of the slides to read still. and i don't feel like doing anything right now.
i feel bad and i wish i had somebody to talk to....not a girl.........not my cousin or Sheena.A guy....not a guy that's pursuing me.
for a minute there i was tempted to call R. Phaedra's ex...but i told myself NO!!
That's just a whole other can of worms that should not be opened right now.....or EVER!!!
this evening after he left, i was kinda thinking about him.....i don't know what's wrong with me!.maybe it's so long since i actually talked and had an enjoyable conversation with anyone of the male persuasion.
maybe i'm just feeling heartsick.
i know that waiting is the right thing to do......but i've been doing the right thing so long....and sometimes it hurts. the right thing makes you feel lonely and depressed sometimes.
Big Guy...i've been waiting for such a long time now.....isn't it time yet?
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