Fuckin A!!
LIstening to: Good girls go Bad by COBRA STARSHIP ft Leighton Meester
so WTF is wrong with me. i know i have a pretty powerful sex drive for a woman. but lately i have swore off sex and vowed to be celibate till i get married.
that kinda was a losing battle.
i couldn't take it anymore and after 5 months of celibacy, Marc and i had sex. pretty good sex too :)
afterwards i felt really guilty and fucked uo though.
i am such shitty Christian. how can i call myself a christian when i sin soooo much?!!
sometimes i don't know what to do with myself. i feel like i should just backslide completely and give myslef over to hedonism.it was at least fun.
but i know that if i were to revert back to that kinda life i wouldn;t get the kind of enjoyment it brought anymore. that kind of enjoyment was the temporary kind and i know that it's fleeting but i'm the kind of bitch who wants instant gratification!!
since i had sex........boy lemme tell you.........my libido has been fucking taking me over.
i masturbate everyday at least once a day!!
sometimes 2-3 times!!
i should've just fucking kept my hands to myself and my panties on!!
SIGH
SIGH SIGH
SIGH SIGH SIGH