do i need GOD?
I barely got any sleep last night. If u read my last entry you would know why.
On impulse this morning I picked up the New Testament, you know, those little blue books you see bible people handing out, and I just flipped to the back to the Psalms.
Now I�m not one for religion and such things but I felt like I needed some kind of sign that everything would be okay.
This is what I got:
PSALM 52: VERSE 17
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
I don�t know exactly how I feel about religion right now. But my heart yearns for something more. All my life religion has never been something that made sense to me. It was something that you just had to follow, like it or not. God was a vengeful God. You would always commit sins when you didn�t live up to perfection. Where was the benevolence and mercy that I�d heard so much about? Everything I did was wrong, wrong, wrong!!
I didn�t care about doing the right thing anymore��.right and wrong are subjective. Aren�t they?
If religion is a pain in the ass, and everyone says just do your own thing and you�ll be happy�����.why am I not happy?
I�ve been doing my own thing for years�but nothing has brought me any joy. Maybe I should try things a different way.
Maybe���.
FOOTNOTE:
I dropped in an ON-THE-JOB Training Application this morning. Guess I have to send out a lot more applications if I want to be employed by May, when I hopefully, finish college. And oh, that dude Shazard from TGI�S called me this morning. He was in work. And damnit to hell! He cannot stop asking me out. I�m a little flattered but more creeped out than anything else. I dunno if to accept his invitation for lunch. Maybe if I do I can make him understand that I have no interest in dating anyone right now