Have a good cry....
i know the universe is telling me that i should tell Daniel to fuck off and leave me alone. but honestly i can't.
i think sometimes that i don't need him but i can't bear to be apart from him really.
i don't want to fail at another relationship.
i just can't seem to get anything right.
it's either i'm to distant or too needy.
how can you punish someone you supposedly love.
last night i put my phone on silent 'cause i was feeling sick n my mom was calling me a million times. so i missed Daniel's calls and he was mad obviously,
when he couldn't reach me.
but to punish someone you love by withholding that love from them.....how is that right.
i really needed him today. i have exams, papers, lab work, home stuff, other shit that i have to remember...and oh yea my period hasn't come yet, so i have hormones running wild!!
i feel like he barely tells me he loves me anymore, even during sex. i brought that up once or twice but never drove the point home....but tonight i was so frustrated and burst out crying................he told me i was behaving worse than a little child and that i was making an issue out of nothing!
how is that supposed to make me feel huh?
love my ass!
is that love?
i need someone to be patient and kind and loving and who can take care of me.
i always have to be there for everyone.
i don't want to have to be the one that they lean on. i want to lean on somebody.
i am fed up of being strong.
why can't i break down sometimes?
oh yea...this is why......there's nobody strong enough to lean on.....
it's a sad thought that all the days of my life, i will be the sole emotional support for myself.
i don't want to end up like that.....if i stay with Daniel, that might very well happen.......